Let's Do 52 ~ Week 4 {Unexpected Perspective}

I had absolutely the perfect starting line for this post this morning while I was buttering toast for my kids.  After I wrote it in my head I thought,

"Should I write that down on a sticky note?  I don't want to forget it." 

But, then I thought, "I won't forget it.  It's too good."

And now I've forgotten it. Yes, I know you saw that coming.  It was pretty obvious from the setup.  I'm not a mystery novelist, you know.

It was something about life being funny.  Different ways of looking at things.  Trying to make sense of something that totally has you turned fourteen different ways from Sunday.

Dang, I wish I could remember how it went.

Now I'm stuck wanting to talk about unexpected perspectives with only the pictures and no words.  Okay...wait.  How about you take a look a see if this means anything to you?

Yes, they are puzzle pieces.  I'm looking for the deeper meaning here, though.

Anything?  Really?  Nothing?  Nothing at all.

What about this?



Gettin' anything yet?  I know it's a little hard to make out.  Just....try....please.  


You're not really being very helpful.  I thought you were my friend.  Friends are supposed to come up with ideas for other friend's blog posts about random puzzle pictures.  After all that I've done for you, all the secrets I've told you, and you can't even come up with one thing to say about the perspective on these pictures?  Some friend you're turning out to be.  I can't believe I ever started talking to you.  That's it.  I'm done.

Wait!  Don't go.  I'm sorry.  I take it all back.  You didn't deserve that.  You've been a great friend.  I love that you're my friend.  I'm just feeling frustrated because I had such a great thing to say this morning and now I've forgotten what it was.
 
And I really liked it because it wasn't funny.  It was totally serious, and I'm not serious that often.  I was looking forward to showing my serious side.  It would have given you an unexpected perspective on me.

"I'm not a box.  I don't have sides."....That's a line from a movie.

Now I feel like I just randomly talking and I need to stop.

"Recalculating!".....Sorry.  Commercial.

Okay.  Serious.  Unexpected Perspective.

I guess the point that I wanted to make was that things come up in our lives all the time that leave us facing one stumbling block after another.  How does this work?  What are we doing here?  Is there something that I'm not seeing?  Where's the way out?

And my answer, the answer I always give, the answer I offer up even when no one has asked me and they are rolling their eyes at my over-use of cliches and unsolicited advice because he's had a long day slaying dragons and just wants to zone out watching Wheel of Fortune or the God-forsaken Golf Channel (Because, I mean...really.  When did we move into my grandparents' house?....) is this:

It's a puzzle.  You just have to figure out how to put it together.

Hey!  That was it!  I got it!  Wow...That feels so much better.  Thank you, friend, for letting me work that out with you.  You're always there for me.  It's why I love you.

Alright, now back to the funny....Man walks into a bar....

Oh.  You've already heard that one?  Okay.  I guess I'll let you go and we can talk later, then.

XOXO.

L.

Let's Do 52 ~ Week 3 {Negative Space}

Here's what I love about my new Project 52 group:

1.  Phenomenally great themes that really make me think about my work and how I'm going to approach it.

Negative Space!  It's so abstract.  I love it.   (As opposed to "Make It Tasty" or "Sweet Relief" which were actual themes from the previous group that made me want to smack my head on the concrete).

2.  A detailed explanation each week of the new theme and ideas on how to achieve it.

3.  An alternative theme each week in case the first option just leaves you stumped ("Responsibility"?  What?  Who wants to see a picture of Prince Charming paying bills or me making my kids floss?  Oh!  "Open"? Okay.  I can work with that).

4.  A great new photographer that I can steal ideas from....Inspires me!  A great new photographer that inspires me.  That's what I meant to say.  Steal ideas.  I don't where that came from.

Moving on....     

Here's what I can't stand about my new Project 52 group:

1.  Abstract themes that I have absolutely no idea how to create on my memory card.

2.  Amazing images from amazing artists that perfectly capture the abstract themes and make me feel like the big, fat Momtographer that I am (Mostly because of all the Christmas fudge that I ate and the slutty Barbie dresses I have to remove from my lenses before I can use my camera).

3.  The weekly recap and new themes are posted on Sunday afternoons.  I'm used to a Saturday morning check-in.  Get up.  Have coffee.  Check the new theme.  That's my routine.  I'm a creature of habit.  Change throws me totally off balance.  I can't....It's just....Sunday afternoon?  What's next?  American Idol on Fridays?  I'm mean, come on.  Get real.  Am I wrong on this?  Pretty sure I'm not.

4.  During the first three weeks of this project my images have not been featured even ONCE!  Of the 48 images I submitted last year, I was featured nine times.  NINE!  Sometimes for images I just threw together quickly because I didn't want to miss out on the week.  Like that ridiculous chicken picture for "Hidden Objects" week. 

I thought for sure I'd get a feature for my alternative theme shot this week.

Everyday Tools.

I shot it at the beach last weekend after making brownies.  My son said I should have taken a picture of a fork, which he said was not a ridiculous idea and I should stop laughing because at least we use forks everyday. The fact that a fork picture was, in fact, chosen as a 'Pick of the Week' is completely irrelevant.

Okay.  That's not true.  There wasn't a fork picture.  There was a salt and pepper shaker picture.  I couldn't have done that one, though, because I don't use shakers.  I have those little bowls next to my stove that I keep filled with kosher salt and coarse ground pepper.  And I hate photographing food.  It's lame.

As long as this new group doesn't ask me to photograph something called Make It Tasty, I guess I'll be happy.

And if this little rant made your Monday even the slightest bit more smiley, then I know I'll be happy.

Because I love you.

In a totally non-abstract, but amazing way.

~Lisa

Turning 6 ROCKS!

My daughter is going to be 6.  Which is weird for me.

6 is a girl.  I don't have a girl.  I have a baby.

6 is 1st Grade.  1st Grade is elementary school.  I don't have an elementary schooler.  I have a Kindergartner.

6 is a lot more than 5.  Well, it's one more.  But, still, in girl years that's like 14.

We spent some time during the past few days preparing for her big day.  We started with some portraits.

She totally rocked it....like Madonna or Katy Perry....but with smoother skin and a Minnie Mouse pillow pet.

When The World Was Covered With Ice {or How I Survived A Week At Home With My Family}

We've been housebound for the past week while our entire world came to a complete halt and was covered in snow.  Anyone who tells you that it's so wonderful being at home with their family for a whole week without any kind of break or alone time is lying.  Lying.  Right to your face. 

At first it was fine.  Kind of like a fun camping adventure, but in my own bed and without the bugs and camping stove.  And the flannel shirts and boots and outdoor fires and roasted marshmallows.  And there were no fishing poles.  And no one sat around singing camp songs.  And at no point was I fearful of a wolf or a bear coming to steal our food in the middle of the night.  You know, really, it was nothing like camping at all.

It snowed a lot.  More than we've seen in several years.  It's funny because every fall we, Prince Charming and I, sit around talking about how we'd really like a big snow this year.

"Yeah, I could go for that."

"Totally.  Me too.  Like, that would be awesome!" Prince Charming never really got over that Valley Girl phase.  Sometimes I'm embarrassed for him.

Once the snow stopped, the ice came.  Not the Ice Man, because we don't have one of those.  Actually, I've never really seen an Ice Man, so if we do have one, I wouldn't know.  Anyway, the power went out which really sucked for about six hours.  Then it came back on.  Then it snowed some more on top of the ice.  Then the cable went out.  And the internet.  And my kids started getting a little antsy and whiny.

"What are we supposed to do without the internet?"

Wait.  Sorry.  That was me.  I had all these blogs and status updates that I wanted to write.  I tried putting them all in a Word document, but it just wasn't the same.  I wasn't able to look at you when I was talking, and, truly, knowing you're out there when I'm typing really does make all the difference.  I'm not lying.

What I was able to do during our two day technological hiatus was reconnect a bit with my lens, which was something I promised myself I'd do in the new year.

Yes, that was an official resolution.  Even though I promised I wasn't going to tell you what any of those were, I'll let that one go.

I officially resolved to connect with my lens.

So, I set up my new tripod and started looking out the window.  What I realized, however, was that my neighbors were getting a little freaked out because I had my camera pointed out the window.  I really didn't care all that much until they put up a sign that said

STOP TAKING PICTURES OF US OR

WE'LL CALL THE POLICE!

Nag, nag, nag...We've never been close, anyway.  Who cares?  I'm over it. 

Turns out.  The ice was pretty cool, too.

 
It totally covered the trees in our yard.  The trees that grow cherry blossoms every spring.  The trees that I've taken thousands of images of because I love the bright pinks and greens that pop out on their branches.  The trees that I then get totally sick of because I've examined every possible knot and cranny on their trunks.  The trees that I want to hack down during the summer and fall when they drop inedible cherries on my car that stick all over my roof and make little burgundy spots on the paint which my dad then says I need to scrape off because it'll ruin the paint and really I should just be covering up my car with a protective sheet or better yet, just clean out the garage so that I can park in there.

The trees that died in the ice storm after they were so covered in ice that one of them fell over and the other lost so many branches that we're going to have to cut it down anyway.  Poor trees.  I took their picture over and over and over, just so I could remember them.

Then I got sick of it.

Then I got sick of the ice and the snow.

And I got sick of the technological hiatus.

And I got sick of my kids and all the stuff they kept wanting from me...like food.  Food means dishes.  Dishes means cleaning.  I got sick of cleaning.

I got sick of Prince Charming and his stupid outdoor extension cords that he draped all over the house in case the power went out again and he needed to hook things up to the generator.

And his 1000 piece puzzle that was spread out all over the kitchen table.

And the popcorn that was dropped on the carpet during our Marley & Me movie night that we didn't get to finish because the disc was bad.

I was in a foul mood.  Severely foul.  It was vulgar.  Almost vile.  I needed out of the house.  I needed to go somewhere that didn't require me to prep, plan, cook, clean, referee, deal with, play with or listen to anything.  So, Prince Charming took me to see Happy Feet 2.

No.  I'm being serious.  Unfortunately, it wasn't playing at the wine bar movie theater, so I had to suffer through with a diet coke, two buckets of popcorn and a Milky Way.  Oh, and the kids were there, too.  Girle and I split a Twix bar.  Then I felt better. 

When we got home, I apologized to everyone for being Cabin-Fever-Psycho-Mom-From-Hell.  They were all very understanding.  They didn't even make me pick up all their clothes that I threw out the windows.  I probably will anyway, though.  PC wanted to make sure that I put that part into the story.

"What about your attitude?  Huh?  You gonna' talk about that?"

"Yes.  Okay...honey.  I'll talk about that."

 
Yadda...yadda...yadda....I roasted a chicken, put Ocean's 11 in the DVD player, the cable came back on, and I was happy.

The End.

P.S.:  My mother called from L.A. where she's been stuck since the airport here shut down and she couldn't fly home.  Evidently it rained there.  The pavement got wet.  The people on the news called it Storm Watch 2012.  I guess there were some moms down there who got a nasty case of Cabin Fever. 

I can relate.

Let's Do 52 ~ Week 2 {Open}

At 7:45 this morning two guys from the city showed up at our house to clean the sewer in our backyard.  This was upsetting for several reasons:

1.  There is a sewer in our backyard.
2.  Two strange men were inside the sewer in our backyard.
3.  I haven't showered in two days.
4.  There is a sewer in our backyard.

That third one doesn't really pertain to this situation, but it's upsetting.  Mostly to Prince Charming who always asks me if I'm going to shower today when he leaves the house in the morning.  You know, like he's my mother or it's something I have to do everyday.  Get real.  Who am I trying to impress?  Let me tell you a little secret, lover.  The vacuum cleaner doesn't care if I have beautiful hair or clean underwear so just get over your clean-shaven, GQ lookin' self.  And he says, "Oh yeah, right," like he doesn't believe that he looks good, and then he grabs a quick sideways glance in the mirror and thinks "Yeah, I look good."  I know how he rolls, okay.  Please.

Moving on.

I've known since I moved in here that there was a sewer in the backyard, but in all the time I've been here, no one has ever offered to clean it for us, or remove it so we could have a slip n' slide, or told us that if we didn't unlock the gates ourselves they would have to use metal cutters to break the padlocks we have on the gates to get back there and clean it.

I know what you're thinking, and no.  They're not charging us to clean the sewer.  That's not what you were thinking?  Are you sure?  I took a class called "How To Be A Blogging Psychic", so I'm pretty sure that's what you were thinking.  Really?  It's not?  Hmmmm....that's curious.

Okay, back to the sewer.  Boy that's something you don't hear everyday, isn't it?  Unless you're one of these guys who goes around cleaning sewers because then you would hear that all the time.

"Break's over.  Back to the sewer!"

Mostly, the sewer cover in our backyard has just been used to fall over while someone is trying to catch a ball

(Prince Charming.....I think I throw a ball just fine, but whatever.  "I'm not standing on the sewer am I?  You want me to knock over my glass?"  Nag nag nag....)

or to hold our drinks while we're out tossing around, apparently, really bad passes, or planting herbs or partying while the kids clean the house.  It's like a little table.  But made out of steel with the word SEWER written across the top.  It never actually occurred to me that it would need to be cleaned.  Kind of like having a dirt floor.  Why do you need to clean it?  It's dirt.  It's supposed to be dirty.  Same thing.

I know what you're thinking, and my response that is that it doesn't matter that no one has had a dirt floor in their house for over a hundred years.  Ever been to the jungle?  Dirt floors all over the place.  Who's cleaning that?  I'll tell you who.  No one.  Because it's supposed to be dirty.  Just like a sewer. 

See, those blogging psychic classes are starting to pay off, but I won't say I told you so because I could not possibly be that rude to someone who has been so nice and stuck around for my sewer story.  It's almost over.  I promise.

Anyway, they opened the sewer and my first thought was

Gross.

Then I thought

Gee.  I should take a picture of that. 

I can totally use that for my new Let's Do 52 project group this week.  The theme is Responsibility.

I know what you're thinking.

Trust me.  I'm psychic.

Project 12 ~ Month 1 {Resolution}

I hate resolutions.

My definition of Resolution is this:  Promises I make to myself after 5 mimosas on New Year's morning.

They sound great when I talk about them to Prince Charming.  They look great written out in my notebook.  They feel great the first two mornings that I get up at 6:00 to start makin' them happen.

But, then I get tired.  It's 6:00 in the morning for shit's sake.

Okay ~ Resolution #1:  No swearing....unless I'm by myself.

Resolution #2:  Spend more time alone. 

In years past, I've resolved to:

Keep everything I own in clear, stackable boxes with snap on lids.

Eat only what grows or is made out of dirt.

Work out 47 times a week. 

Read a novel every day.

Think good thoughts that will keep me moving forward to the places I want to go.

Resolution #3 ~ Figure out good places to go.

It's been 41 years of this.  I'm exhausted.

I saw on Ryan Seacrest's New Year's Eve show that some ridiculous percentage of people actually resolve to get in a relationship this year.  Really?  Why don't you just resolve to eat a doughnut everyday?  It'd be a hell of a lot easier and a lot more fun.  I mean, what kind of a resolution is that?  You can't just make that happen.  If it comes your way, great.  If not, keep going.  If you're open to it, it will happen, but you can't force it.

"No, you have to be my boyfriend.  I made a resolution....Wait!  Why are you running away!?"

(And P.S....I also heard that they're thinking about Ryan Seacrest to replace Matt Lauer...as if!...)

Resolution #4 ~ Stop paying attention to Ryan Seacrest.

Okay....anyway.  My point is resolutions are stupid.  I can't force myself because I know that I'll put up a fight, and I know that I'll win.  I can, however, set a goal.  An attainable goal.  Like,

Only drink red wine after 5:00 p.m.

I can totally do that.

Alright, alright.  I can do more that just that.  I can drink white wine, too.

Fine.  I'll stop goofin' around.

I do have a set a goals for this year.  I'm not going to tell you what they are because that's another thing that I hate about resolutions ~ spilling them publicly.

"Tell people.  It makes you accountable."

Blech.....

I will tell you that:

1.  I have a set of personal goals.

2.  I'm working to achieve them.

3.  They do not involve counting calories, keeping a journal or tracking my progress on anything.

The problem now is that I can't tell you why I made this image.  It's was done as part of my goal setting process and I just said I wasn't going to discuss that.

I don't know.  Now, I'm torn.  And I've already spent way more time on this that I'd planned.

I guess, I'll just let the image speak for itself and you can make up whatever story or goal or resolution you want to about it.

I won't hold you to it.

Resolution #5 ~ Always tell them you love 'em for stickin' through it.

I just love you.

Happy New Year!

~L.