Double L Photography: 10 Things I've Learned Shooting Football

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"Pace Yourself" doesn't work in football

Evidently, "Pace Yourself" is a mother's advice to her physically spent kid who's afraid he won't be able to run the 14 miles all the other guys are running without stopping or getting yelled at for stopping. The proper advice in this type of situation is

"Run hard! Balls to the wall! All the time! Don't stop! EVER! This is football!"

There's no crying in football

I thought this was just for baseball, but I guess I was wrong. Football players aren't supposed to cry either. Even if they're only 8 years old and they've done 25 reverse crunches in a row and now their stomach feels like it's twisted out of their body into a puddle on the turf.

Good thing this rule doesn't apply at the gym or I'd be sunk.

Oh, wait. I don't go to the gym.

No worries, then.

To those who don't speak football, the language of football can be pretty darn suggestive.

"He's got to get his body low, drive into that hole, then pop it."

"Nothing feels better then when you hit it low, hit it hard and hit it right."

I don't think I really need to draw you a picture here, do I?

Stand Cool.

As opposed to, like, a little kid, 'cause even little kids know how to stand cool.

Skills can be taught. Effort cannot.

Any coach worth his salt can teach a guy how to run, how to block, how to hit, how to catch. But the desire to put on all that gear and run around for 3 hours when it's 147 degrees out, then take a five minute water break so you can come back and do it all again? That cannot be taught. You've gotta' bring that with ya'. You've just gotta' love this game.

In football, your number is everything.

"What number are you thinking about, son?"

"I don't know. I don't really care."

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stop right there. Put down the football and step away from the field. You don't really care? Don't you know what your number means, boy? It's how everyone, including yourself, will identify you from now until the end of time. On the field. Off the field. At the grocery store. At your 20 year high school reunion. IT'S WHO YOU ARE. Without a good number, what is your poor mother going to write on Xerox paper with Magic Marker and hold up during the game? Without a good number, you're gonna' be stuck with that stupid, generic voice mail code whenever you get a new cell phone. Without a good number, YOU'RE NOTHING!"

"Ummmm....how about 21?"

"Hey! That was my number!"

"I know."

"Here. I'll let you wear my old jersey. Good job, son. I always knew you had it in ya'!"

Football means never having to say you're sorry.

Unless the mom/team photographer is standing up field, just a tad too close to the sideline, and you're moving so fast and she's just standing there like a deer in headlights rather than getting the hell out of the way, and you can't stop or redirect yourself quick enough and you crash right into her.

In that case, by all means, say you're sorry...and she'll call you a nice boy and put your picture on her blog.

Football means never having to say you're sorry ~ Part 2

Barring any encroaching photographers who have their head up their lens, you don't ever have to apologize for taking someone out. You're just doing your job. Offer your hand to help them up, but don't offer an apology. And if your mother advises you to do so because she wants you to be a nice boy, gently walk her to the edge of the stadium, kiss her cheek and show her where she can kabitz with all the other ladies who don't really get this game. Because if your father ever hears you apologize, he'll take you out himself.