Project 52 ~ Week 18 {First Thing In The Morning}

First thing in the morning it is quiet.

I am the first one awake.  I crawl out of bed and pad down the hall to the kitchen.  Everything is dark and blurry.

I start the coffee.  I bring up the clothes from the dryer.  I think about all the things that have been rolling around in my head during the night.

I get up before anyone else so I can start the day on my terms.

First thing in the morning I am committed.  To myself.  To my daily vow to be the best that I can be.

To drink less coffee.

To read my book.

To not waste my time.

I am strong.  I am powerful.  I am energized.

I am a good mother.

First thing in the morning there is a plan.  The day has promise.  Anything is possible.

Goals can be met.

Appointments can be kept.

The God-forsaken list can get crossed off.

There is nothing I can't do first thing in the morning.

But, the day moves on.  I start thinking more.  I plug in.  I get distracted.

All of the promise of the morning gets lost or dropped or forgotten.  Fading away in left over jelly beans and not nearly enough water.

I raise my voice.

By the time I crawl back under the covers at night, I am hiding from all that I didn't.  All that I wasn't.  All that I just couldn't.

And while I am sleeping, saved from the judgment of myself, I am renewed.  I wake up in the quiet and I sneak out of bed before anyone else is awake.  I pad down the hall to the kitchen.  I start the coffee and bring up the clothes.

I let all of the day's promise wash over me the way it always does first thing in the morning.